I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
