Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
