you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
