I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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