so that wasnt chicken after all
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
