Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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