He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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