I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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