I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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