ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
