i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
