How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
