I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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