the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
