Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
