Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
