i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
