Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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