i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
