I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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