You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
