Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
