she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
