he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
