Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Randomize
