I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
