My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
kristin has been a bad kristin
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
