when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
