"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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