need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
