is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
