Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
