I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
