dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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