I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
