was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
