maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
