I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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