I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
