A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
