If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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