i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
