Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
