I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
