it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
