why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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