she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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