...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
