belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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