Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
